I’ve been told never to let on I know – 23rd April 2002 – Part 2

Tuesday 23rd continued  The main reason for me coming home was so I could do my driving test at 1:33pm on 12th April. All but the lesson but one before my test had gone okay but the one that went wrong (and I got upset) really worried me.

The day before my test, Denny, Isaac and Rocky invited me for a day out with them. We went to the Lowry Centre first after seeing Cat at work (I didn’t see Dodgy Dirty Dan but I saw Dougie). We then changed direction and went to Liverpool to see Sarah which was nice. It was a good day, I enjoyed it. Denny gave me 2 cards (one for my birthday last November and one for tomorrow) as well.

It was really not nice not hearing from Jonas much over the holidays. His mobile gets no signal and he has no credit so he couldn’t even text me. He was going to come and see me but couldn’t afford it which was a bit disappointing. I spent a lot of time thinking about me and Jonas though and some of that was worried thinking. At one point I felt like I wasn’t missing him as much as I did Jake but then I trust Jonas and I knew where he was and who he was with pretty much. Also, the hols were only 3 weeks and I think being apart from someone for 3 months in the past has made it more easy going.

I also began thinking that this love thing’s new to him but not to me and I kind of want Jonas to be my first love cos then it’s equally as special for us both. Still, he’s ‘had’ more girls than I’ve had lads. I hope we’re together for a long time cos then it will be very special cos we’ll be each other’s longest relationship.

I really do love Jonas and I missed him sooo much over Easter. I wouldn’t want anyone else. He did ring me a couple of times and I phoned him too. He told me he was bored too and 4 of his sister’s mates fancy him (GRRR!!) but they don’t know he’s taken. He was disappointed when we thought I might not be able to go to T in the Park cos of a fieldtrip but I can. Every time we spoke he said he loves me and misses me. 🙂

I got a few texts off him when he nicked his sister’s phone. One said, “ I am missing u + can’t wait to see u again! Bloody phones messing about – sorry : ) u ringing me 2mo? Looking forward to it. I was thinking about u when u rang. Love j x”. He kept telling me on the phone he couldn’t wait to see me and hugged the phone and made kiss noises to me!

Right, back to my driving test then. Since Abby did hers a few days before, I’d been really nervous cos she passed and it kind of put the pressure on for me to pass 1st time. However, Dad accidently let it slip that Abby didn’t actually pass 1st time, she failed her 1st attempt a month earlier. I was really pleased he told me cos it really took some pressure off. I’ve been told never to let on I know.

Even so, before my test I was incredibly nervous. My instructor (Charles) had been warning me about a “little Hitler” examiner and how he was really tough so when he came into the room and called my name I felt even worse.

I got going okay and did a perfect 3-point turn but when it came to reversing round a corner, I totally messed up. I almost hit the curb and realised but I couldn’t remember how the hell I could sort it out. In the end (after sitting there with a blank mind for a minute or 2), I pulled forward and reversed again and hoped for the best.

I really thought I’d blown it. For the rest of my test I could see the guy (Chris, I think he’s called) putting marks on the sheet so I just wanted to get it over with.

Just as I was halfway into the parking space at the end, I managed to stall the car which was more embarrassing than anything else cos my instructor saw. I really thought I’d failed so when he said, “I’m pleased to tell you you’ve passed” I was sooo shocked. I only got 8 minor faults too!

It still hasn’t really sunk in yet cos I haven’t driven anywhere. My sister has but I’ve not been insured on the car.

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