Tired, stressed and full of wine – 25th to 27th March 2002

Monday 25th  I had my first driving lesson for ages today at 9am. It didn’t go too badly actually.

I went to The Green Dragon later to see Gethin later but he was working so he couldn’t speak much. I also got bored and decided to have a read of Jake’s emails. I found one in his sent box to Emma Thornley on 7th October (not long after we split up) telling how I’d phoned him in tears about stalkers so I couldn’t complain if she visited cos I’m wanted by lots of people. At the end it said, “I love you lots + lots + lots……” and stuff. Cat said Emma’s got a boyfriend in Hull but I’m still very annoyed cos there must have been something going on. Fuckers!

It also made me think about Jonas and how I’m not seeming to be missing him as much as I did Jake but then he’s not as far away and I know who he’s with and I trust him. Plus I’ve got stuff to do so it takes my mind off missing him a bit. I really want to hear from Jonas though. I do love him.


Tuesday 26th  My second driving lesson today went okay again.

I finally got a text from Jonas saying his exhaust fell off his car and “miss u. xxx” at the end. 🙂 That was it though. He’s got no signal or credit.

I had a massive argument with Mum tonight just cos I asked when Abby’s driving test is. I tried to say I can imagine how bad she feels about Grandma but also how Mum turns everything round to blame herself and make me feel guilty. She called me cruel, vile, self-centred, jealous and “no daughter of mine” and pathetic and told me to get the train back to Huddersfield tomorrow. She said, “Get out of my home” as if it wasn’t mine and accused me of scrounging off her and Dad and demanding stuff like laptops. She also yelled at me for not having a job, saying I’m “workshy”.

I’m so upset! I hardly said anything to trigger it either. I was actually looking forward to coming home too. I want Jonas!

I apologised to Mum but she yelled at me so I apologised again and she yelled to get out of her room. I should keep out of the way like Dad and Abby. I don’t learn! She said, “Sorry’s just a word”.


Wednesday 27th  Mum doesn’t hate me. 🙂 She said she didn’t mean all the stuff she said cos she was just tired, stressed and full of wine!

I seem to have got a cold but I felt well enough to do a driving lesson and do The Run [pub crawl] with Denny, Rocky and Cat. Denny said his mate Jim fancies me from the photos he’s seen and the others have asked who I am or said I’m nice.

We met up with Floyd in The Green Dragon. He seemed pleased to see us. It was funny tonight listening to uni stories and stuff and me mishearing “juggling monkeys” as “dribbling monkeys”!


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