I hope Jonas never reads this! – 19th December 2001

Wednesday 19th (continued)  Jonas came to visit me AGAIN tonight but I don’t mind cos it’s cold at his house and I like seeing him. We were just lying on my bed and I said something daft while watching TV and he started laughing. I told him to stop laughing at me and he said, “I’m not laughing at you, I love ya!”

I didn’t know what to say so I just giggled at him. I don’t think he meant it cos it was just casually dropped in but it was sweet and I couldn’t stop smiling anyway.

Things progressed properly tonight and I ended up sleeping with him (as in sex – I don’t know why people say ‘sleeping with’ cos that’s hardly what you do). We just started tickling each other and then snogging and he sat up and took my trousers off, then my top, then my knickers and socks, then his top and jeans, then my bra then his boxers all in a fairly short space of time. It was dark which would explain why he said “very nice” when looking at my body.

It wasn’t very nice at all. He was way too fast and I very nearly told him to calm down but I thought he might get offended or annoyed or something. I wasn’t particularly enjoying myself for I stopped him. He asked if I was tired and I just agreed. He then went to have a shower and I found myself bursting into tears.

It was partly out of disappointment cos it was a bit crap (I hope Jonas never reads this!), partly cos I thought the reason it was crap was cos we’d rushed into it, but mainly cos I’m worried he’ll go off me now if he thinks it was crap as well.

When he got out of the shower I was okay again and we just cuddled. He said, “Well that was a first. No-ones ever done that to me before.” I thought, “Done what?” He asked me again how many lads I’d slept with but I still wouldn’t tell him. I asked how many girls he’d slept with (just to see if he gave the same answer) and he said, “It’s irrelevant anyway. No girl’s every made me ‘go’ or whatever you call it.” He then said, “You’re magic”. Yey!! 🙂 He then wanted to know how privileged he is to have such a “sought after” girl. I didn’t really think I was! I thought I was the lucky one getting him.

Anyway, all that made me feel much better and I don’t mind what we did quite so much anymore.


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