Sunday 21st I was at home all day today (+ bored out of my mind!) and only came back to Huddersfield this evening.
I went into Marc’s room for a bit cos he’d been stuck on his own all weekend and was just about ready to go mad. He actually looked quite nice but I can’t decide what it was about him that made me think that.
Kevin came round tonight as well and said he’d missed me this weekend but didn’t realise quite how much until he was actually back with me. He also managed to scare me a bit again by saying that we don’t need anyone else cos we’ve got each other when I mentioned most of my flatmates disappear at weekends. Oh yeah, he also mentioned us “going out” again and said he’s going to cook me Chinese stuff in his flat tomorrow. Nooo!! Back off!!
Ugh, what’s wrong with me?! I really liked him before I got with him and now I seem to be changing my mind. It was the same with Marc until he told me he fancied me and then I ran a mile.
Maybe I’m just not ready for another boyfriend yet cos Jake and I were madly in love at one point and it’s not been that long since we split up yet. It was different with him too. I couldn’t wait to see him all the time whereas I keep putting off ringing Kevin to say he can come round.
I keep comparing me and Kevin to me and Jake as well, which is never good. Bloody Jake has gone and made me really fussy, I’m sure, cos he is so nice looking and was so nice and sweet to me. If I’d gone out with someone really minging and evil first then I probably wouldn’t be like this now!
With any luck it’ll all sort out. I’ll just see what happens. I remember when Sarah and Michael 1st got together, he was really keen but she was still pining over Maz (some gimp with a blue knob [trapped blood vessel or something] who she lost her virginity to) so she wasn’t that sure about Michael. They seem to be fine though now, even though she does occasionally go with [snog] random lads on nights out in Liverpool.
However, I am not “pining” over Jake because I refuse to let an ex ruin my life and cry constantly and just generally piss people off with constant whinging about a lost bloke. BUT if I reeeally liked Kevin (e.g. as much as I reeeally liked Jake) there would be no way I’d have snogged Colm for fear of losing a boyfriend over it.
Ah, fuck it! I’ll just have to take things as they come and stop tying my brain in knots thinking about it.