It’s not the right atmosphere for a girlfriend – 17th August 2001

Friday 17th I went to Jake’s house today and he came to mine for a Chinese later on. We had a proper serious discussion about splitting up at uni. Usually I’m the negative one about it and he’s being all positive but this time it was the other way around. I didn’t like it cos there didn’t seem to be any way of convincing him that it might be alright. He also upset me by saying things like, “Do you really think we’ll still be together when we’re 40?” and “6 years is a long time” (that’s how long he could be at uni for) and “We’ve only been together 18 months”.

After all the nice messages about wanting to marry me and be together forever, all that wasn’t very nice to hear cos it makes me think he didn’t really mean the nice stuff. He kept saying how loads of his mates have split up with their girlfriends since they got to uni and how it’s not the right atmosphere for a girlfriend and we might have different groups of friends.

The discussion carried on while we were waiting for his bus to arrive. He’s been fine up until I got back from Scotland and now he’s really bothered about it. I want to know why. I think maybe one of his friends has said something to him or he wants Emma.

When the bus came, he gave me a quick kiss goodbye and then went off, leaving me wondering what the hell is going to happen.


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