4 weeks + 4 days to go!
I had another driving lesson this morning. My instructor kept saying I was good seeing as I’ve only had 3 lessons and that we got through quite a lot again today. I drove from my house to somewhere in Warrington where there was a housing estate so I could learn how to slow down and turn and stuff. I made a few more mistakes than before cos I’ve had more to concentrate on today and it’s getting more complicated. I thought it went quite well though.
I drove home again but stalled trying to turn up the lane. I got a bit flustered cos there was a big van behind me. My instructor told me afterwards that the men in it had been puffing and blowing and waving about cos they’d been annoyed at having to wait for me to start up again. He told me to ignore people like that and he’s right but it did piss me off a bit.
Then when I got in, Dad started telling me not to be surprised if it all starts to go wrong in the 5th or 6th lesson when it starts getting more complicated. He did say it’d improve again but it put me off a bit cos I don’t want it to go wrong. I ended up getting a bit upset but then got really upset when I got told I was being pathetic and over-reacting to what Dad said. Mum then said I’ve got to stop over-reacting about stuff such as my legs and failing Biology exams when all I really wanted was reassurance.
So, I got even more upset to the point where I couldn’t breathe properly! 😦 I just wanted to explain that I can’t help worrying and when people get annoyed with me it make me worse. I just need to tell people things sometimes. I did calm down eventually and apologised for being ‘pathetic’ and I felt much better after having a good cry!
Mid-upset, I wrote down what was going through my mind, seeing as no-one seemed to be listening! →
I really don’t know what was up with me cos I don’t get into that sort of state very often. I think it’s just cos I’ve had a bit of a horrid week, what with exams and starting to worry about my legs, and Jake being away and not ringing me on time and stuff. Maybe it was cos my period’s due in a couple of days too! I think what Dad said just hit a nerve cos I did bother a bit today that my lesson didn’t go as well as it could’ve done!
Jake phoned at 4:25 pm today. He kept saying he wants to come home. Good! It hadn’t snowed there yet so maybe it’ll all melt! 🙂 We were trying to think of somewhere he could get a job when he gets back, just in case his dad makes him but everywhere I suggested he came up with a reason not to work there. He doesn’t want a job, that’s why! I can’t say I blame him cos I don’t either!
We talked about Barcelona too and he mentioned that even if we have to get up for breakfast, we can always go back to bed for a bit afterwards! 🙂
Today’s emails →