Mum’s just told me I should stop “wallowing in self-pity” – 27th January 2001

Saturday 27th
9 weeks + 5 days to go!

Surprisingly, I haven’t really done much today! That was a sarcastic comment, just in case you hadn’t realised. What the hell did I do at the weekend before I met Jake?!

He didn’t really have much to say on the phone and neither did I so we started talking about our potential holiday to Barcelona with each other plus Cat and Sarah. I found out the flight would be £95 return if we book soon which sounds quite cheap.

I told Sarah and Cat, and Cat was fine about it but Sarah started going on about her parents going away and them not wanting the house to be empty. She’s been saying that every time I’ve mentioned Barcelona but still saying she wants to come.

I then started thinking that if she’d gone away with her parents then the house would’ve been empty anyway. The more I thought about it, the more it sounded like an excuse she could use, just in case she decided she didn’t want to come after all.

So, I sent Sarah a text, pretty much saying that and asking if I was along the right lines. She sent one back saying she can’t come cos she can’t afford it. I mean, fair enough, she might need to save up for uni and stuff but she could’ve told us sooner, before we started to look forward to it cos she must’ve known for a while she wasn’t going to come.

She probably didn’t want to say cos she thought I’d be pissed off or something. Okay, I am a bit but it’s more disappointment than anything else. She can tell Cat, I don’t see why I should have to. At least it wasn’t booked.

Jake and I did discuss on the phone today what we’d do if someone dropped out (cos Cat and Sarah aren’t going to go without someone else cos they’d be stuck with me and Jake!) cos we can’t find anyone else who’ll come cos everyone’s already booked stuff. He suggested just going to Barcelona for a few days and then going to Dublin or somewhere for a weekend after it.

I do like that idea but I did kind of want to go away with a group like in London cos it’s fun when there’s a few people. I also feel a bit funny about going on holiday with just my boyfriend (even though my mum said I am old enough to do that) cos it seems a bit dodgy to other people and they’ll just think we’re going away to have sex all the time. I don’t want people to think that about us.

My mum’s just told me I should stop “wallowing in self-pity” and take notice of other people’s problems too! I mentioned once, maybe twice, that I was disappointed about Barcelona so I hardly call that wallowing! As for noticing other people’s problems, erm… I could’ve sworn that’s all I’ve been doing for the last few weeks! I’ve been quite proud of the fact that I’ve not moaned at anyone myself actually!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

27-01-01 Jake email27-01-01 Tess email 127-01-01 Tess email 2

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