What if someone gets the wrong idea?! – 20th January 2001

Saturday 20th
10 weeks + 5 days to go!

I’ve spent most of today staring at either my Biology coursework or my Geography revision cos I just can’t do them! It’s not so much through not being able to concentrate, it’s more because I’ve gone a bit thick! I can’t get my head round any of it! 😦

I was very glad of the distraction when Jake phoned me this afternoon! We were on the phone for ages but didn’t seem to say all that much! I had more to tell him than he had to tell me. He seemed concerned about Sarah’s car crash and the fact that I’m getting sick of feeling single! I hope he doesn’t feel the same way. I really do need a cuddle and stuff and watching all my friend finding lads isn’t helping in the slightest.

I explained to him how I’d feel guilty doing anything with him in front of people now I’ve been reminded of what it feels like to be on your own. I think I worried him by saying that cos he probably thinks I’m going to keep well out of his way now. I wouldn’t be able to though! It’s when I keep seeing people like Lizzie and Declan kissing and cuddling and touching each other that I realise how much I miss Jake. I want him back!

This is actually worse than when I was single because then there was always the hope that something might happen with me and someone, and if it did, I could allow it. I can’t do that now, not that I want anyone else though. Plus there’s the fact that I didn’t really have the experience of being in a long term relationship before so I couldn’t miss something that I’d never had.

Jake told me that it’s his roommate’s 18th birthday tomorrow which means they’re probably all going to get very pissed! I really hope Jake doesn’t cos if he gets like he did on the last Friday before he left then he’ll probably go round hugging and kissing people! What if someone gets the wrong idea?! He’s be in no fit state to say no!

Bye

Today’s emails →

20-01-01 Jake email

20-01-01 Tess email

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