I keep trying to think positive – 17th January 2001

Wednesday 17th
11 weeks + 1 days to go!

I got told today that MiniTaylor is actually seeing Emma now. That’s a bit weird!

I’m really, really worried again. Jake hasn’t phoned tonight at all. There’s all sorts of things racing round my mind that could’ve happened to him. He said if he couldn’t phone he’d let me know why so I didn’t worry but he hasn’t left any messages or anything so I’m very worried now!

I just don’t know what I’m going to do if I never see him again. I love him sooo much and I just can’t imagine life without him or being with anyone else. The thought just makes me feel so sick and I’ve got a constant lump in my throat. I don’t know what to do with myself. I can’t concentrate on any work so I’ve no idea how I’m going to pass my Geography exam next week or get my Biology coursework in on Monday!

I keep trying to think positive cos he might well have got up late or not been able to get another phone card or that the phone might be being used. I’m trying to convince myself that I’ll have an email tomorrow morning but I don’t think I’ll be able to bring myself to look because if I haven’t got one I know I’ll be panicking even more.

I can’t stand this! It’s just not like him cos if he says he’s going to do something, he usually does.

This is awful! I hate not knowing! But then I don’t want to hear anything bad’s happened to him. Ohh, I can’t think straight! 😦

I’ve been trying to take comfort from the fact that I felt like this on Saturday and he did eventually phone me but this time he hasn’t phoned me at all so I’m very worried. I’m absolutely dreading checking my emails in college tomorrow morning just in case I haven’t got one from Jake.

I can’t think of any reasons why he can’t phone me OR email me unless something is really wrong. [Perhaps because I was being a massive anxious pain and he was in the pub?] He even said on his last email that he’d speak to me today.

I suppose I’d better try and get some sleep.

Bye!

P.S. Jake’s email this morning →

17-01-01 Jake email

My reply →

17-01-01 Tess email

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