Tuesday 26th I can’t cope!! I’m getting so stressed about everything now! I think I’m going to have a nervous breakdown! There are just so many things for me to worry about at the moment.
Firstly, there’s my Geography project which my teacher has decided he wants in 2 weeks. There’s no way I’m going to get it all finished for then. Now my Sports Studies teachers want us to start on our projects for them. This is on top of all the other homework I’m getting for all 3 subjects.
The other major thing is our UCAS application forms have got to be done before the October half term and I’m not even sure which courses I want to do or where I want to apply to. Plus I haven’t got a clue how to write my dreaded personal statement.
Linked with the whole uni thing is Jake. He got all depressed today cos he’s read some article in a uni magazine about some girl who had a boyfriend and ended up having to split up with him cos she was missing out on uni stuff. Also, he read some advice that said you’re better off splitting up before you go off to uni.
This made him worry that we aren’t going to last and now I’m going to feel awful if I don’t go to Huddersfield with him because of some messages he sent me.
He said, “NO!!! NEVER WANT TO SPLIT UP! THERE’S NO WAY THAT COULD MAKE THINGS BETTER! I JUST COULDN’T STAND TO WATCH US MOVE APART WITH US NOT SEEING MUCH OF EACH OTHER.”
And then he said, “IF YOU WENT TO HUDDERSFIELD I’D BE SOOO HAPPY! : ) AND I’D DEFINITELY GO! JUST DON’T WANT YOU TO CHOOSE THE WRONG COURSE BY GOING THERE! I COULD NEVER SPLIT UP WITH YOU! xJx”.
Then later, “YEH I AM GOING TO HUDDERSFIELD BUT IF YOU WENT SOMEWHERE ELSE I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU AND I’D PROBABLY FAIL AND DROP OUT! I NEED YOU!!! xJx”.
I sarcastically replied saying something about “no pressure then” and he said, “I’M SORRY ABOUT THE PRESSURE! BUT I WOULD REALLY LIKE IT SOOO MUCH IF YOU DID GO THERE! I WOULDN’T WORK IN ASDA IF I DROPPED OUT, ALTHOUGH IT’S BETTER THAN KWIK SAVE! : ) LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH! x”.
After that, I’m stressing even more cos I really want to get into Huddersfield now.
All that came out cos when I saw him today, he was hugging me loads more than usual so I asked him why and he told me about that article.
The other thing I’m bothered about is work. I still hate it! Every time I think about going, it fills me with dread! I’d quit but I associate that with people like Zoe and Roxy who are total drop-outs.
Then there’s kickboxing. I’ve got a grading next week and I’ve not been able to get there for the last 2 weeks. My instructor’s going to kill me!