I denied all knowledge of the stains – 5th June 2000

Monday 5th I got some more messages off Jake in the night. I’d been lying in bed, thinking about stuff we’d done together over the time we’ve been going out so I sent him a message asking if he was still awake and then which night together he thought was best. He replied, “I’M AWAKE! HMMM IT WOULD EITHER BE LAST TUES AT GETH’S, THE FRI YOU LEANT ME YOUR FLEECE, THE NIGHT WE MET – HAPPIEST NIGHT EVER! – OR FRI BUT I’D WANT TO DO IT AGAIN SO I COULD CHEER U UP! WHY? xJx”.

I told him I’d just been wondering and then said that we never know what’s going to happen and we might have even better nights yet to come! He said, “I HOPE SO!!! : ) IF THAT WAS THE WORST IT’S GONNA GET I CAN LIVE WITH IT! I’M GLAD WE’VE TAKEN THINGS AS WE HAVE COS THERE’S NO RUSH! I LOVE YOU xxx JAKE xxx”.

I hope we’ve not spoken too soon saying that the worst night was on Friday and stuff! I told him I’m glad we haven’t rushed it too and then asked how come he’s so patient cos other lads usually push girls to go all the way pretty quickly. He said, “DON’T KNOW COS I’M NOT THE PATIENT TYPE! THEN AGAIN I’VE LEARNT A LOT ABOUT MYSELF! NEVER THOUGHT I’D FIND SOMEONE I LOVED THIS MUCH!! YOU’RE TOO GOOD TO LOSE! xJx”.

I really can’t believe he loves me!! 🙂 He makes me so happy!! The way this has all gone and is still going is one of those relationships where, if we were in a soap opera, it’d be going really well and then something bad happens! I hope it doesn’t end up like a Titanic or Romeo and Juliet sort of ending!!

Sorry, that’s so negative! I mean, things like this have gone well and have lasted forever for other people so why shouldn’t it for us?! It just all seems too good to be true at the moment!

Anyway, I sent him another message telling him to let me know if his patience ever definitely runs out. He then said, “OK BUT I DON’T THINK IT WILL! I MIGHT WANT AN ‘EVEN BETTER NIGHT’ BEFORE I GO TO A PLACE I’M NOT GONNA SAY THE NAME OF!? DO YOU BELIEVE IN FATE?! xJx”.

I told him I wasn’t sure about fate but that I was sure he might not be the only one who might want an ‘even better night’ before he goes to Canada! I am getting to the stage now where I might want to take things further with him. It’s only really the fear of the possible consequences that’s stopping me.

This morning he texted me and told me that he’d asked if I believed in fate cos he thinks we were meant to be together. He could be right!

It was back to college today unfortunately! Gethin was announcing very loudly to people that he’s got to wash his brother’s sheets cos of them being covered in stains! He’d narrowed it down to me and Jake somehow but I denied all knowledge of the stains and even lied to Sarah that nothing had happened. I suppose I just don’t want people to make a fuss/take the piss/think I’m showing off or anything. Some people just don’t get that I’d rather keep stuff to myself.

Sarah eventually found out that on Friday night, Gethin had discovered the stains and apparently he and Jake had been laughing and joking about how they got there but then, as soon as Gethin suggested it could have been me and Jake, Jake went bright red and said it had nowt to do with me. When I acted all innocent on the subject today, Gethin drew his own conclusions that Jake had been entertaining himself so I got annoyed with Gethin for interfering and warned Jake about what Gethin thought. Jake started worrying, saying that he’d never even consider doing that in someone else’s bed and that he’d never be able to show his face around college if Gethin told people his theory! He sent Gethin a message then to deny it and I had a go at Gethin so he said he was sorry. He should just leave it now.

I need to see Jake!! I don’t know how the hell I’m going to cope when we’re apart for longer! He kept saying he missed me in messages and stuff today.

Bye!

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