I had to kiss him again to stop myself squealing! – 19th April 2000

Wednesday 19th I went to Chester College (or whatever it is) open day today with Sarah, Floyd and Cat. It’s quite nice but they don’t do physiotherapy. I just went to prevent me having another boring day at home. Sarah loved it and has decided already that that’s where she wants to go!

While I was there, I got a message from Jake. He said, “AAHH! MY EARS ARE RINGING! MARCO LOST THE COMP SO HE WOULDN’T DOWN HIS LAST AFTERSHOCK  – LIGHTWEIGHT! HOLIDAYS R SO BORING – I’VE DECIDED! APART FROM WHEN I’M WITH YOU x”.

When we’d looked round (which didn’t actually take long cos it wasn’t as big as we thought it’d be), Sarah’s dad took us to McDonald’s. When we were there, we saw a lad with his eyebrow pierced. He had the same sort of features as Jake and it looked quite good so the others told me to text him and see if he’d get it done! I got a message back saying he doesn’t want to look like J from 5ive!

I sent him one back saying I was considering getting my belly button pierced (I’m not but I just wanted to know what he thought cos I think that looks good too) and he sent me a reply saying, “GO ON – YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!! IT ONLY GETS INFECTED IF YOU DON’T CLEAN IT PROPERLY! IT’S A REAL TURN ON!! NOT THAT YOU DON’T ALREADY THOUGH! : ) LOVE YOU LOADS xxx”. It’s the infection part along with any pain that stops me doing it. Oh, and my mum’d probably kill me! I’m too soft!!

I missed kickboxing tonight cos ALL my mates were going round to Brian’s. I was meant to be getting my yellow belt and certificate tonight but I didn’t want to miss out on anything. The football (Man Utd v Real Madrid) was on too but that only pissed me off cos Utd lost 3-2 and are now out of the European Cup. Bugger!!

Jake and I just snuggled up in the corner of Brian’s bed. He was totally sober cos he was driving (I’d had a bit of vodka) but we were kissing loads and ended up doing what we did at Denny’s and staying outside clothes again due to a room full of people.

Eventually Brian had to chuck everyone out so Jake gave me, Sarah and Hayley a lift home. He took Sarah back to her village first and then nearly took me until I squeaked a bit and he took the hint and took Hayley!

I’m glad he did cos I got an extra half hour or so with him in The Green Dragon car park. We were kissing pretty much all the time but at one point he stopped mid-snog and mumbled something. I asked, “What?” and he said, “I love you.” That’s the first time he’s ever said it properly! My stomach was tying itself in the nice sort of knots and I had to kiss him again to stop myself squealing! The kissing part proved difficult when I was trying not to smile!

When I’d calmed down slightly, I thought I’d better say something back so I told him I loved him too. I dunno if I do really. I mean, I’ve never liked anyone this much before but I don’t want to be one of those people who just think they’re in love when they’re not really. Oh well, I’ll just assume I am for the time being!

A bit later, he went to try and do 2 but I managed to stop him by holding his hand. I don’t really know why I did.t just let him. I think it was because I’d sobered up a bit and realised that there were probably security cameras about and also that Dad could walk past going to the pub at any time! It’s comforting to know that Jake stopped when I wanted him to though.

The car was totally steamed up by the time I got out! I didn’t really want to leave because he didn’t either but it had got quite late.

When I got in bed, I received a message from Jake saying, “HI! HAH I’VE GOT MY PHONE WITH ME THIS TIME! DID YOU WAKE ANYONE? WAS IT WRONG OF ME TO MAKE A MOVE ON YOU? I JUST WANT US TO BE HAPPY! LOVE YOU! J xxxxx”.

I asked him then if he’d woken anyone up and then told him I didn’t mind him making a move and that it was the lack of time that was the problem because the more we’d have done, the more I’d have wanted to stay (or something along those lines). He replied, “NO! FOR ONCE I DIDN’T WAKE ANYONE UP! ARE YOU SURE? I DIDN’T WANT TO FORCE YOU INTO SOMETHING OR SEEM LIKE I DIDN’T CARE! I WANTED TO STAY WITH YOU! LOVE J x”.

I assured him that I wasn’t bothered and that I know he cares and that he wasn’t forcing me to do anything I didn’t want to. He sent me one back saying, “ALRIGHT THEN! : ) I JUST WASN’T SURE BECAUSE OF ALL THAT “AGREEMENT” MESS!! IT’S NOT FAIR! I WANT TO BE WITH YOU NOW! LOADS AND LOADS OF LOVE JAKE xxxxx”,

I sent him another asking what wasn’t fair and then told him that I wanted to be with him too seeing as I was in bed! He replied, “NO I MEANT IT’S NOT FAIR THAT WE HAD TO GO HOME! I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS IT’S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! YOU IN BED IS WHERE I WANT TO BE! LOVE J x”.

I then sent him one last message (at about 2:15 am!) saying I was going to attempt at getting some sleep and he said, “SORRY YOU’RE RIGHT! I NEED SLEEP TOO BUT I DON’T THINK IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN BECAUSE I’M THINKING ABOUT YOU! NIGHT NIGHT! : ) LOVE YOU LOADS xxxxx”.

I like him soooo much!!!

Bye!

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