“It’s not fat!” – 8th & 10th April 2000

Saturday 8th Went to the Trafford Centre with Jake, Gethin, Emma and Suzanna. It was okay and we just kept reminding Jake of what he’d done last night. He apologised for what he said about getting Hayley pregnant!

I got a message from him this morning, thanking me for looking after him so he does remember some stuff.

[…And that’s where this entire diary abruptly ends with not even a ‘BYE!’]


[Shimmery diary number 18.]


Monday 10th Not much really happened today in college but I was told a couple of things that my boyfriend, Jake Taylor, (that sounds good!) said.

Sarah told me the first thing. We’d been on our way to McDonald’s for lunch in Karen Brent’s car and I’d run back into college to get my mobile phone. Apparently Sarah had yelled after me, “Hurry up and move your fat arse!” and Jake had complimented me by saying, “It’s not fat!” It just shocked me slightly because he’s a bit shy and hadn’t said much in the way of compliments (unless drunk!) before!

Gethin told me the other thing Jake had said. On Friday night, there’s a bit of a party going on at Floyd’s house and Gethin and Jake were talking about it. Gethin asked if he was going to stay overnight and Jake said he wasn’t sure until he was told that I was staying and he might even get to share a bed with me. Then apparently he changed his mind to say he definitely is going to stay!

After college, we all hung about for a bit until I had to go and meet my mum for a lift home. As I was leaving, Jake just sat there and made no effort to come and give me a kiss goodbye. Sarah came back to mine for a bit after school and, because I was moaning about Jake, she sent him a message asking if the conversation with Gethin was more important than saying bye to me.

She also pointed out that Gethin had carried out his part of an agreement the two of them made and asked if Jake was going to do his half. The agreement was that Gethin’d snog Sarah if Jake slept with me. It was made when they were very drunk the other week but it wasn’t serious really. Jake’s never ever tried anything, even when he’s completely bladdered! Anyway, he sent one back saying he felt really guilty about not saying bye and that he would carry out his side of their agreement if I was willing, basically.

I’m pretending that I wasn’t with Sarah when she sent that so, earlier on, I sent him a message from my phone asking what some messages to Sarah had been about because I’d just spoken to her on the phone (lie, lie!) and I also mentioned I felt sick cos I’d eaten too much ice cream. His reply said something about serving me right for eating too much and that the message had just been about the agreement and him not saying goodbye after college.

I sent another saying sorry cos he had sort of waved at me and I asked what he meant when he put “IT’S UP TO YOU” after writing about him saying he’d carry out his side of the agreement. He sent a message back saying, “NO SHE MEANT WHY DIDN’T I GIVE YOU A KISS! SHE MADE ME FEEL REALLY BAD! USE YOUR IMAGINATION AS TO WHAT I MEANT!”

(This is all really confusing!!)

I sent another one pretending to be all innocent and he replied, “AAAGGHH! I’LL SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU : ) THE AGREEMENT WAS THAT HE WOULD GO WITH [snog] SARAH IF I SLEPT WITH YOU!! WHAT DO YOU SAY?? LOVE YOU LOADS J x”.

I sent him one back asking him if he was serious because this all seems so unlike him and I got a reply saying, “DEADLY SERIOUS – I DON’T MAKE JOKES ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP! ANYWAY SARAH + GETHIN HAVEN’T LEFT ME MUCH CHOICE HAVE THEY? IT’S TOTALLY UP TO YOU THOUGH! : ) LOVE J xxxxx”.

I just can’t believe he actually said all this! When we’ve talked about that subject he’s always said he’s never been ready, although we were always on about doing it with other people. I don’t think I am now so I doubt it’ll happen with us any time soon. I still can’t stop smiling though!!

I’ve not replied to his last message cos I didn’t know what to say and Sarah’s just phoned saying he sent her a message saying he’s worried cos I haven’t replied.

Right, I’ve just sent Jake another message apologising for not answering and explaining that I didn’t because I wasn’t sure how to reply. He sent me one back saying, “I DIDN’T WORRY YOU BEFORE BY SAYING WHAT I SAID, DID I? I ONLY ASKED BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF THE BLOODY AGREEMENT! GETHIN WAS ASKING ME! LOVE YOU LOADS x”. I think it’s sorted now but I’ve been left feeling very confused!

Well, this had been an extremely weird and mixed up start to a new diary anyway. I’m finding it extremely difficult to follow what I’ve written so what chance has anyone else got?!


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