I really like him. It’s so unfair – 9th November 1999

Tuesday 9th Most of the conversations I’ve had today have revolved around one subject. The party. Freda has now decided that if Aled comes then the party ends at midnight, if he doesn’t it’ll go on until 2am. She’s made sure everybody knows this so that nobody’ll want Aled to come, not just her.

Personally, I think that’s really shady. I’d be really upset if I found out that someone had said that about me. He pretends he couldn’t give a toss about it but I bet he does really. Who wouldn’t be bothered?

Freda also had a minor go at me at lunch. She told me what she’d decided about Aled and then said, “So if you think it’s going to be shit, you might as well not bother coming.” I admit I was saying yesterday that it had the potential to be a crap party and I know I should be grateful that she’s having it at her house at all. I was just pissed off about the Aled thing (because she’d said she didn’t want him coming yesterday) and the fact everyone had to be out by midnight when most people would only have been there for a couple of hours. I wasn’t just me saying so but it must have got back to her that it was me because it’s on my birthday.

Freda also said to me to stop inviting people because it was her house so she was deciding who to invite. Actually, I haven’t invited anyone who wasn’t going already. Brett’s coming now with Reevsey but Zoe and Lizzie are there ones who got them to come. Everyone else is inviting friends too. For example, Suzanna’s coming with Emma. I seem to be getting the blame for all of this. I do feel a bit guilty though because it is her house and she didn’t have to have a party but then I suppose I didn’t force her into it either.

I’m really disappointed about Aled not being able to come too. It’s the only other chance I’ll get with him, for a while at least. I just wish more people liked him. Especially Freda! It’s his own fault in a way because he takes the piss out of people so much. He can be a nice lad when he wants to be though. Even if he did go to the party, I’d be wary of going with [snogging] him again with so many people being there because, if he started being a bastard and I stayed with him, I’d be likely to lose friends too. I really like him. It’s so unfair.

Just today I’ve developed a really uneasy feeling about this party but I can’t quite put a finger on exactly what’s bothering me. I think it might just be a combination of everything put together. It just feels like nothing good’s going to come out of it.




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