Making his own amusement – 29th October 1999

Friday 29th I did go to Davis’s part last night and I did end up quite enjoying it. I went round to Emma’s first because she, Suzanna, Nicola Banks and I were getting a lift with Nicola’s ‘friend’ Steve. I didn’t really feel all that safe in a car with his driving. He was a bit mad but we made it to Davis’s. There were loads of people already there when we arrived, most of whom I didn’t know so I went and sat in a room with Dougie, Keira and Gethin.

After I’d had a couple of drinks, I wandered round the house a bit. I started talking to this girl called Mel who seemed alright. Last time I went to Davis’s, Nathan Holmes was there and he was there again last night. I had it in the back of my head to just go for it with him because he’s quite nice but he seemed a bit shy again and Mel kept telling me he was usually like that so I gave up on the idea.

I did start talking to Nathan when people started telling him he looked a bit like Aled Brownlee and he asked me who that was. I reassured him that he wasn’t such a bad person to look like. At this point I let it slip that I’d met [snogged] Aled on Saturday. Unfortunately, Gethin was in the room at the time so I might as well face it that everyone’ll know!

A bit later on, Nathan and Keira seemed to be getting on pretty well which, I have to say, made me quite jealous. I was glad when I walked into a room and saw Keira and this Sam lad meeting [snogging] each other. I went to where Nathan was and sat and talked to him for a while.

We ended up outside, leaning against the car, talking about Dougie and Suzanna (they’d been in a bedroom together for ages) until it got too cold so we went inside. Sam went home for a while but, even though he was coming back, Keira went back to flirting with Nathan so I went and watched TV.

Everyone seemed to be gradually pairing off and I was just beginning to think I’d be left on my own when Nathan came in. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch but reached across to offer me some of his Hooch. I took a swig and handed the bottle back. It was a slow exchange and he had his hand on mine. Then he reached across and held my hand before sliding over to my end of the seat.

We were about to meet [snog] each other but a load of people walked in so he suggested we had a look for a spare room. There was nobody in Davis’s sister’s room so we went in there. Before we did anything, Nathan and I agreed that it was just for one night, just for fun and it wasn’t going to go any further. I was fine with that because I still don’t have a clue if anything’ll happen with Aled so that way it was less complicated.

We were just lying there, snogging, when Nicola came in. She lay down between us and tried to sleep. She didn’t take the hint that we wanted her to go so we just ignored her and carried on kissing. Then Gavin and Davis came in. Davis lay on top of me and Gavin squeezed on the bed next to Nathan. This is when Nathan suggested we found somewhere else.

We went upstairs to Davis’s room and climbed onto his bed. Nathan started asking if I’d be pissed off with him in the morning but I said no and asked why. He told me he’d just had bad experiences in the past where girls had been annoyed with him. Then he’d just said it’d made him really paranoid. He kept asking me if I was okay and admitted that he wasn’t actually very experienced and that he’d never gone all the way with a girl.

At some point, Gavin walked in and sat down at a desk until we started meeting each other again then he left. Nathan had his hand on my bra which I didn’t really mind but I had to tell him to stop when he started undoing my trousers. He asked why I wouldn’t let him so I told him it was the wrong time of the month. He said that that was always the excuse and thought it was really because I didn’t like him. I swore to him I wasn’t making it up.

He shut up then and we kissed for a bit longer. He kept stopping and just looking at me sometimes and at one point he sat on me and said, “I bet you don’t mind having a lad straddling you!” I just sort of grinned. After that, he started kissing me faster and I got the impression he wanted to go a bit further than I did but nothing happened.

We got a bit bored after a bit so we went down to see what everyone else was doing. After curling up on the sofa for a while he wandered off for some toast. Keira and Davis were joking about doing a strip but they decided it was too cold so we went into Davis’s parent’s room where there was a gas fire. Nathan and Gavin came in later after talking about something (that made me a bit paranoid!) and getting Nathan’s sleeping bag off Nicola.

Nathan came and sat on the floor with me and held my hand. It got a bit uncomfortable on the floor so Gavin and Nathan went to find a room to sleep in. I followed so Gavin left us on our own again. Nathan stripped down to his boxers ready to sleep and crawled into his sleeping bag. I was shivering so he let me under it too. He’s a swimmer which probably helped him to get the nice body he has.

We just kissed a bit longer and his hand crept back up my top. I did start dozing off at one point when we were just lying there and he thought I was losing interest. Every time I started falling asleep, he kept waking me up by saying, “Tess, are you asleep?” or “Come back, Tess!” He kept humming too. Also, every so often, he kept asking me if I liked him and I told him that I wouldn’t be there if I didn’t, which was true.

I really did go tired at one point so I pretended I was asleep so I didn’t have to keep going with [snogging] him which was obviously keeping me awake. I was just lying there, pretending to be asleep and he suddenly came out with, “You’re gorgeous”. It was dark so I just smiled to myself without him realising I was still awake.

A while later, the bed started shaking and so was Nathan. I think I might have actually been asleep so I didn’t think anything of it when I first woke up, other than maybe he was cold. Then I realised what he was actually doing right next to me! I did actually have to try really hard not to laugh. He had hold of my hand still and moved it down towards his lower half. I didn’t move my hand away because he’d have known I wasn’t asleep so I rolled over a bit and rested my hand back on his stomach. Then stuff went all over my hand and sleeve. I wasn’t very impressed.

A few seconds later, Gavin, Nicola and Maz P (I think) walked in and switch the light on. Nathan, of course, had to try and cover himself up with his sleeping bag but Nicola tried to pull it off him. Luckily she was unsuccessful. We got rid of them and Nathan started mumbling about how that’d been too close. He got up and went in the bathroom and so did I to wash my hands and sleeve when he came out again.

We then snuggled back under his sleeping bag. I pretended to be asleep again when he started asking me if I liked him for about the 50th time because I couldn’t be bothered answering! It got a bit lighter outside so when I opened my eyes a bit, I could see him smiling to himself just before he whispered, “Have you got a problem with my knob?” [YES! FUCK OFF, NATHAN!] I ignored him and he said, “You don’t know how much I need a wank.” I think he was muttering it more to himself than me. He started making his own amusement again so I continued pretending to be sleeping.

He said something about having an “amazing headache” and got up and went out of the room. I didn’t see him again until I went out myself. I was watching Titanic in the living room with people and he was sat at a table on the other side of the glass doors watching it too. I turned round and we had mega long eye-contact and he smiled at me.

He left to go home before I did but I had to leave soon after him because I had a dentist appointment this morning. The only problem was that I couldn’t find my boots. I looked everywhere but I couldn’t see them. Everyone was searching and Davis eventually found them under the sofa or somewhere. I couldn’t stop thinking about Nathan [CREEEEEEEEEEEEEP!] and Aled all morning. I hope it doesn’t get too complicated.

It went fine at the dentist’s and she even said she wished her teeth were as strong as mine. I still hate going though.

I slept all afternoon until the phone calls started. Sarah rang just to chat, then Oscar rang. He was mostly going on about Lizzie but then said that Aled was thinking of asking me out. I’m not supposed to know so I’ve got to act shocked if he does! I don’t really want him to because people’ll take the piss. I know that shouldn’t matter but it does.

I spoke to Oscar again later and he added that Aled had said he liked me and wanted to know when my birthday was (he knows it’s soon) so he could wait until after it before he asks me out so he doesn’t have to buy me a present. I’d say he was a cheeky bastard but I’m not so sure I wouldn’t do the same!

Oscar also said that his parents are getting suspicious because of the amount of time he’s been on the phone to me for. They think Oscar and I’ll be going out soon. I think not! He’s too obsessed with Lizzie anyway.

Aled phoned too tonight. He wanted to know if I was going to town tomorrow night. I said no because no girls are going so it’s just Aled, Julian and Dev W, I think. I hope Aled doesn’t do too much with any girls. In fact, I hope he doesn’t do anything!


P.S. Lizzie told me that she used to know Nathan because he used to swim with her team until he got better and moved to Warriors which is how he knows Davis, I think.

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