Why can’t she just live a little? – 3rd-7th February 1999

Wednesday 3rd I told Emma about Nutter’s phone call last night and 1st thing this morning she went over to him and said, “Right, number 1 – Don’t phone Tess again coz her dad always answers and it’s embarrassing. And number 2 – She’s flattered but she doesn’t feel the same way.” Hopefully he’s got it into his head completely that I don’t like him now.

The field trip was boring but better than school. We just visited different areas of Warrington and compared them. I was in Ewan’s group but he didn’t speak to me at all.

After school I had a flute lesson so I was hanging about. Emma wanted to go to the shop to see Davis but she asked everyone except me. Afterwards, when everyone’d gone home, she was being pretty normal again.


Friday 5th I can’t believe it! Rachael Hollins actually spoke to me normally today and called me Tess. What’s going on?!

None of them have been quite as bad this week and Hayley agrees. We know they’re planning to all go on holiday together and that Georgia’s having a sleepover at some point but, other than that, they’ve be been okay. Although that could be to do with the fact that every day this week there’s been at least one of them missing. I don’t know.

Emma asked me today if I’d been getting Freda to spy on them in lessons. I didn’t know what she was on about and she wouldn’t tell me who’d said that. I wonder who did. Yes, Freda has been letting me know if someone said summit but that’s all and I didn’t actually ask her to.

Adrian Ford keeps smiling and saying “Hi Tess” to me and stuff. I’m suspicious coz he hasn’t done that before. Well, not since he thought I fancied Ewan anyway.

I’ve not seen Ewan much this week actually. I was talking to Ed in C Block after school and he came in and looked like he was coming over to say summit but he smiled and walked off. I’m not so sure if what Emma said on Tuesday is true.


Sunday 7th I’m so bored. I’m just not in the mood for doing homework and I’ve not got any friends who want to do anything. Hayley is so boring. She never wants to do anything fun. She wouldn’t even come to the Trafford Centre with me today. I think she likes staying in on her own. She’ll only ever go out if it’s to the Sports Club.

I was just saying that it’s be good to go to Mr Smith’s or anywhere like that sometime but she won’t have any of it. She worries more than I do. Even when she’s been asked to sleepovers and things in the past she hasn’t gone. Why can’t she just live a little?

I really am in need of a good time but I’m stuck for friends at the moment. I just want Emma to start ringing me again at weekends but I think there’s little chance of that happening. I don’t want to phone her either coz I don’t want to get accused of being “clingy” or anything again. Well, I hope she’s bored too.

That’s another annoying thing. Everyone else seems to have friends out of school except me. I’ve got nothing to look forward to either. There’s nothing good coming up at all. I know I’m not going to enjoy the holidays coz it’s just going to be like an extended weekend with nothing going on. Most other people probably have nothing to do either but I can’t help but feel that everyone else is out enjoying themselves whether they are or not. Emma said she wasn’t doing anything this weekend but I don’t actually know if I believe what she says anymore.


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