Monday 30^th

I do not believe my life at the moment! I’ve not had much good happening to me recently. Nothing ever seems to go my way.

Ewan’s not bloody well going to the garden centre Xmas part. He’s going to a Manic Street Preachers concert. [Aha! I’ve been trying to remember for years why I hated the Manic Street Preachers! I knew it was something daft from school and this is it.] Why does it have to be on Friday 11^th December? Out of all the days in the year it would have to be on that one, wouldn’t it, hey?!

I’ll tell you why. It’s because that’s just my bloody luck. Every time I’m in with a chance with a lad I really like, it gets blown coz summit happens. [And that summit was usually that I chickened out.] For example, in Austria I was very friendly with Ferny on the way back from the disco and I had his fleece on too and then bloody Rani comes up and drags me away coz she’s on her bill.

Also, on the same holiday we were having a snowball fight and I was happily rolling down a hill with Ferny and getting very close again and then we had to all go back to our ski group but he hurt his knee so he moved away from my group to another one.

Then there was Ed’s party which I didn’t bother going to coz I thought nobody interesting was going, only to find out that next day that Ewan had been there and he said (when he was totally sober) that he would have gone with [snogged] me if I’d have been there.

And now this happens. Ewan can’t go to the party. How annoying is that? Surely I must be due for summit to happen to me lad-wise. Although I won’t count on it!

Emma was talking to Murray Ross this morning and when she asked him if his cousin liked me he said yes. Okay, I’m flattered I s’pose but yet again it’s always the mingers that like me, never actually anyone fit. [I wasn’t exactly a catch either.]

Oh yeah, another 2 chances I had which got pissed up… Finn, this fit lad, came and gave some kids a hand while I was on work experience. He was 17 and drop-dead-gorgeous and just as we were starting to get on really well he had to go back to college. Also, Alex McLean lived across the road from my cousins then he moved to bleedin’ Shetland of all places!

I’ve just got back from the 6^th Form college open evening. I’ve decided that for A-level I’m going to take Biology, Sports Science and maybe Sociology and also an RSA course in Computer Studies or summit.

Ewan was there which is a good sign and so was this really fit lad. He was tall with dark hair and glasses but not nerdy looking and my dad said hi to his dad and I found out he’s part of the Baker family and lives just across the road from me in the new house. I hope I see him about but, knowing my luck, he’s probably either a complete dickhead, really shy, already taken by another girl or gay. Maybe not but likely!

BYE!