I’m not blind or stupid – 16th & 17th October 1998

Friday 16th I’ve just had a major fall out with Emma. The two of us and Hayley went to the Sports Club and met Ed, Dougie and Davis there. Emma said she had to walk home so she had to leave early and, coz it was dark, Davis told us he’d go too and arranged to meet Ed and Dougie in the village in 20 minutes.

Everything was fine and the other two went and Hayley and I stayed for a bit. I then got picked up and, on the way home, Mum picked Abby up from Alice’s house. As she was driving down the road, guess who I saw with Davis, Ed and Dougie. Emma.

I was fuming! As soon as I got home, I phoned Ed’s house. He answered and I heard the other lads in the background. I told him to put Emma on but he kept telling me she’d gone.

Here’s more or less the conversation:-

Ed: Hello? (Background talking.)
Me: Hi, put Emma on. (Noise stops.)
Ed: She’s gone home.
Me: She’s not. Put her on.
Ed: She’s not here.
Me: How come I just saw all four of you on the road then?
Ed: You can’t have.
Me: I’m not blind or stupid.
Ed: Oh, that was us and my sister. She forgot her watch.
Me: Bollocks! I know what Emma looks like.
Ed: It was my sister. She was coming back with us so she could get her wallet.
Me: You must think I’m so thick! Put Emma on.
Ed: She’s gone home. Davis took her.
Me: Put him on then.
Davis: She’s gone home.
Me: She’s not! If you’d have walked her, you’d no way be back by now.
Davis: Blah, blah, blah… (I couldn’t tell what he was saying.)
Me: Put her on.
Emma: Sorry about them, they’re pissed.
Me: I don’t give a toss! What the fuck’s going on?
Emma: Nothing.
Me: Why didn’t you just say you were going back with them?
Emma: I didn’t decide ‘til I was out of the Sports Club.
Me: Yeah, right!
Emma: I didn’t! What would be the point in lying coz I’ll have fallen out with you either way.
Me: Why didn’t you see if we wanted to come?
Emma: Sorry ‘bout all this but I didn’t decide ‘til we’d gone.
Me: I don’t believe you. Why should I? You’ve not been telling me anything recently, have you?
Emma: I can’t tell you that.
Me: Why? I don’t understand.
Emma: I’ll tell you eventually.
Me: Why not now? What difference does it make?
Ed: Right, gotta go. (Click… brr. Hangs up.)

I was so angry. With reason. Maybe she really didn’t decide ‘til after but I doubt it. Anyway, this has just been the final straw really. She won’t tell me what’s going on with her, there’s this Davis business [Some flirting.] and now tonight. It’s all just built up. I felt so much better once I’d yelled it all out of my system. I don’t get that annoyed very often!

Now though, I don’t know what to expect. Will they all gang up and be horrid to me on Monday for going mad at them or will they be sorry? I don’t want to never speak to her again coz, really, she is my best mate and she said on the phone, “You’re my best mate, I don’t want to fall out” or summit. I hadn’t finished speaking when Ed hung up. I was just starting to chill a bit.

I’d like to know what happened after. The lads were bound to be calling me and she’d either have been feeling guilty or will have joined in. The thing is, I won’t get chance to see or speak to her this weekend coz she’s working and she’s at Suzanna’s party. She’ll probably tell Suzanna about it and bitch about me there too.

I’m going to bed now, I’m upset.


Saturday 17th I’m friends with Emma again which I’m glad about. She phoned me up today and apologised properly and said she could see why I was annoyed about last night. She said I was right and that I was her best mate so she should tell me what’s the matter at the moment. She said she’ll tell me tomorrow.

I’m feeling a bit guilty now coz I feel like I’m forcing her into telling me summit which she really doesn’t want to.

I asked her what they all said when Ed hung up last night. She said that:

  • She was feeling really bad and was saying, “What are the chances of that happening?” meaning me driving past.
  • Davis was saying, “Oh, fuck Tess!” and stuff.
  • Ed was going, “Aah, you should’ve let me do all the talking, she was believing me then.” Ha! Yeah right!
  • Dougie was just saying, “Why should you have to answer to Hayley all the time. You shouldn’t be worried about falling out with her all the time.”

I reckon Dougie was saying it about me really, not Hayley. Although Emma did say that Hayley was the reason why she didn’t come back in the Sports Club to get the lads coz of the fuss Hayley made when Lindsey went off with them.

I’m still not sure I believe that she hadn’t already planned it but I don’t really care as much anymore.


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