I BLOODY WELL WANT TO KISS HIM

[Guten tag to Lynnette – guest diarist extraordinaire!

I was very pleased to find Lynnette’s blog a few weeks ago whilst searching for other people daft enough to share their teenage diaries with the world. They’re always a pleasure to read but this one has made me do actual LOLs to the point that someone in the next room asked what was wrong with me. I suggest you go and have a nosy to cheer up these gloomy winter evenings.

If you’ve got a teenage diary of your own that you’d be willing to release into the wild via IDST then you can get in touch on the ‘Share your own diary‘ page. 

BYE!

Tess x]

Hi, my name’s Lynnette. Well, it isn’t really, but none of the names in my diaries are real, to protect the innocent (and guilty).  Also known as the Untrendy Teenager (‘untrendy’ being one of my most over-used words in the 80s), I’ve just started blogging my diaries online, starting with 1984), at secret80sdiary.wordpress.com, and was both thrilled and inspired to find Tess’s fabulous blog, which I am enjoying hugely!

After my mum got the Adrian Mole diaries for Christmas 1983, I was inspired to start my own, and although they were sketchy to begin with, they subsequently morphed into something frankly quite terrifying. My initial tiny diary was crammed with miniscule writing by the end of 1984 (which I needed a magnifying glass to decipher when I typed it up last year), and by 1986 I was filling an A4 page every day, sometimes with continuation sheets!

I’m really excited about contributing to Guest Diaries, and with some trepidation I’m sharing some key dates chronicling a sorry saga of teenage angst spanning the second half of 1985. A boy who loved me but lived in Germany; a boy who lived locally but thought I was hideous; impossible homework; spots, greasy hair and a good dollop of ‘depression’…

31 May 1985

HOME FROM GERMAN EXCHANGE

I’m v depressed tonight and still tired, so I’m going to bed early. Slept till 10am. Spent the morning putting up my new Duran Duran posters from Germany. They fitted quite well. Asked Dad if I could go back to Germany in the summer but he said we couldn’t afford it. I can understand that and I don’t blame them at all, but I’m so upset cos it means I can’t see Ralf until next year! My first boyfriend – and he has to be 6 billion miles away! I must buy some heart notepaper to write to him on, and get him something lovey-dovey for his birthday which is in July.

In the afternoon I started copying up my diary, and also started my Germany project for school, which is a bit like a diary too with drawings and diagrams. It will have to be edited though, I don’t think my parents and teachers will appreciate pearls of wisdom such as “I got my first snog to Simple Minds’ Don’t You Forget About Me”. Got very tired and depressed at tea, and started crying later on the phone to Ros so I got shouted at. They just don’t care. I suppose they’ve never had a boyfriend 500 or so miles away. Or girlfriend in Dad’s case.

4 August

Spent the day listening to Germany songs. I miss it so much, esp Ralf. I BLOODY WELL WANT TO KISS HIM, and usually end up kissing Lenny the toy lion instead. Mind you, that won’t really do because if I kissed Lenny like I kissed Ralf I would get a mouthful of fluff. So I peck him only. Sorry to go on about SNOGGING, but it’s still a novelty to me and it’s v frustrating that now I’ve found a boy who is actually willing to do it, it is impossible. Mind you, I nearly choked several times on his tongue. He put me straight onto French kissing without even asking! I am now wondering how you keep your tongue out of the way on a simple English snog.

11 August

A really sad letter from Ralf. He said what I’ve been thinking for ages, that it would be better if we were just good friends. It was really hard for him to write it. He said I could have my boyfriend in England if I wanted. Greg maybe?! I’m not really that upset – it couldn’t last.

27 September

Had our dinner on the school field.  A couple of people had a grass fight and were really showing us up, esp as Greg was playing football nearby. Ooh, he’s got a lovely body! Mind you, he did once tell me I was ugly (“God, you’re bleedin’ ugly, and that was a compliment”) , so I don’t know why I still like him. Wish I didn’t. Huh. I couldn’t even write about it at the time as I was so upset, so this is the first time I’ve mentioned it. Sob!

29 October

This week seems to be going so slowly! Today we got German and Maths homework and I can’t do it! I will go MAD soonl I’m firmly convinced that I will hate school for ever, all the best is over. We have got six weeks of it at least before Christmas. I am feverishly trying not to compare it with last year or it gets unbearable. I wish I could be ill again like in June, but you can’t even be ill now without having loads to catch up! I keep getting spots and my hair keeps going greasy. I AM DEPRESSED, DEPRESSED, DEPRESSED! I usually play German tapes and escape into Germany with Ralf, seeing as Greg clearly finds me repulsive. But I am considering a nervous breakdown. Or actually killing myself.

22 November

All day I have had to endure, “Ooh, did you see Wham on Top of the Pops last night? They’ll be no 1 next week!” Tiffany was showing off this book which is to be used for her ‘school memories’. Huh! I have included her in my ‘10 Most Boring Things’ lists from Smash Hits, along with Wham! Radio Caroline etc. Had English with Mrs Y’s group today. Greg is in that group and I couldn’t stop staring at him and probably experienced the female orgasm, whatever it is. I still feel Ralf is better for me though. Even though Greg turns me on sexually and he doesn’t, there’s more to love than that and Ralf the personality that I love, and that’s much more important. That’s enough about those two for now.

23 November

The frantic babbling of last about Ralf and Greg took its toll and I had very weird dreams. Firstly one about Ralf in Germany next year when we were trying really hard to be good friends. Woke up at 5.00am, felt sad, went back to sleep and dreamed about Greg. But I’d much rather love Ralf than Greg, as he wouldn’t hurt me and Greg would.

Well, I just CANNOT describe how mixed up I feel at the moment. I reckon I’m going through typical teenage stuff and I almost like it. I know it can only happen once…

(To be continued well into 1986 and beyond…)

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “I BLOODY WELL WANT TO KISS HIM

  1. Ooh I’m loving this! Teenagers have always been the same, haven’t they? Boys, spots, kissing, annoying parents, wanting to kill yourself! The thing that makes it so funny is that it’s actually dead serious. All those emotions and ridiculous thoughts were very real problems at the time!
    Thanks for introducing me to Lynnette, Tess – I’ll definitely be checking out her blog! I’m so jealous of the fact that she can have an orgasm by staring at someone 😉
    Nic x

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s