Ralph realised I had poppers up the side of my Kappa pants – 24th & 27th June 1998

Wednesday 24th It was meant to be Sports Day in school today but it rained so it’s meant to be next Wednesday instead. I’m doing the triple jump now. I wasn’t doing anything until this morning but Rach put my name down in P.E. Oh well, she’s doing it too and so’s Hayley, Georgia, Tanya Potter and a few others I know.

Ralph told Emma today that he had a reason for not liking me and that was because I was so horrible to him. I know I was though and I bloody well regret it now but I was confused and I didn’t know what I wanted to do.

I’m really worried that Emma’s mate Suzanna will end up meeting Ralph and end up going with [snogging] him. She’s seen a photo and reckons he’s a minger but she’s fallen out with her 12 year old boyfriend and Ralph’s desperate so who knows what could happen. See the problem? I want him though.


Saturday 27th I’m knackered. I slept over at Emma’s with Rach too and I haven’t had much sleep. I am also quite happy about 2 things.

  1. Ralph might like me again.
  2. ENGLAND – 2, COLOMBIA – 0

You see, Jen and Emma and I had arranged to meet up with Hayley and Lindsey Bullman in the Sports Club to watch with match. We also managed to persuade Ralph to come too but Hayley didn’t know so when we arrived she wasn’t at all pleased and said she wouldn’t sign Ralph in.

She eventually got her dad to do it but still wasn’t pleased about it and kept calling him a loser and said he had to cycle home at half time. She was making such a scene. Ralph found some of Freddie’s brother’s mates who he knows and sat with them for a bit.

Then, to make matters worse, Johnny Doherty came in. I’d told Ralph that Johnny didn’t go in there coz Ralph wouldn’t have come if he thought he did coz he hates his fellow ginger.

Eventually, Ralph came back over as the match started. Hayley was being really snidey and I think he felt uncomfortable with her. This made me and Emma feel really guilty for getting him to come coz we could see he’d rather be just about anywhere else. I felt so sorry for him.

After England scored their first goal from Anderton, Hayley apologised to Ralph. That was good coz he started to relax a bit more after that. Beckham scored England’s 2nd so they were comfortably in the lead.

I started to relax a bit and I wasn’t permanently glued to the screen. I took my hair down for a second so I could tie it back again and Ralph decided to nick my bobble coz he thought it looked really nice down. He kept telling me and wouldn’t give it back so I couldn’t tie it up again. I just went along with it all and tried to get it back off him. He had it really tightly in his hand to I had to hold his other and try and force him to let go.

At one point, I smacked my elbow on the wooden bit behind the seat and I had pins and needles all down my arm for ages. He gave it back until I had the feeling back in my arm then took the bobble off me again. I did get it back eventually.

Ralph realised I had poppers up the side of my Kappa pants and he started undoing them. [Urgh. Did anyone else have these in the 90s? I believe Adidas had their own version too.] Just as I was putting one leg back, he undid the other. I couldn’t stop smiling so when I told him to stop, he didn’t take me seriously. So, stupid me called him a knob. It got him off but he sulked for a few minutes. Not for long though.

When the match finished he went and sat with those lads again for a bit and they were all staring at me for some reason.

There were a couple of times when me and Ralph got really close. Once was after I got my hair bobble back and we both leaned back at the same time. We were sat right next to each other and he was leaning in my direction. I looked at him and he looked at me then something happened in the footy and I sat forward to see the TV and he turned to look at it. I really thought I could’ve gone with [snogged] him at that point.

At the end of the match too he moved right up next to me, crushing me between him and Emma. I was desperate for the bog so I got up. If I’d have stayed then that could’ve been a good opportunity. (But I would also have wet myself if I hadn’t gone!)

Emma and Rachael told me later that they thought I was going with him at one point.

I got to sleep at about 4:00 this morning and woke up at about 9:00. We just went on the computer. We then phoned Freddie and Ralph but there was no answer from Ralph’s house so we thought he might have been murdered or summit.

We rang again later and he was home. He told Emma she had to take my hair down coz it looked nice so she did. I tied it back again. He was at home making cakes and looking after his twin brothers. He’s so sweet with them. He’ll make someone a good husband one day. Hmmm, nah, I shouldn’t be thinking that. Too young!


P.S. Mum went to pick up my prescription from the chemist today. I’ve just been reading through the leaflet that always comes with them and it’s just started to worry me. Am I going to be on medication all my life? I can’t see the problem completely clearing up even though the doctors have said it will eventually on it’s own. How long is that though? I shouldn’t have to keep taking tablets forever. It’s not fair.

I hate having the avoid the questions as to what they’re for every time Emma asks and now she’s got it into her head that it’s some really embarrassing problem. Why should I tell her?

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