Why the hell didn’t I just go out with the boy? – 6th June 1998

Saturday 6th Oh no! It’s awful! Ralph’s gone off me. It’s made me realise how thick I am. Why the hell didn’t I just go out with the boy? [Oo! Oo! I know the answer! Fear of snogging.]

I went to Emma’s today, you see, and she arranged to meet Freddie and Ralph at Freddie’s house. She was emotionally blackmailing me into going with her by saying her mum wouldn’t let her go if I didn’t and this could be the one chance she could get to go to Freddie’s house without his parents being in. She was also scared of going on her own so I HAD to go with her.

Well, of course all that just made me more stubborn and I’d decided not to go so when we got out of her drive, I went the opposite way to Freddie’s house and went home. (It was also a good opportunity to wind her up on the phone beforehand!)

On the phone later she told me the Freddie and Ralph had biked it her way and met her at some point. Ralph went, “Oh no, where is she?” and then he and Freddie decided to try and catch up with me. If they had I would’ve gone back coz half way home I realised how bored I was going to be. They didn’t manage to find me and went back.

At some time during the day, Ralph announced that he was sick of me and he asked Emma who else he could fancy. She listed a load of girls and when she said Rachael Hollins, he said, “She’s alright.” Bugger! I don’t want Rach to have him. Mind you, I don’t think she would.

I’m really pissed off with myself now. Emma said I’d regret not going out with him and as usual (annoyingly) she was right.

Although she did say he said later, “Guess what I’m thinking about.” They didn’t know so he said, “I wish Tess was here now.” Believe me, Ralph, I wish I’d been there too now. But if I had have been, I probably wouldn’t have realised I liked him enough to be bothered about him going off me.

Hang on, you can’t just go off someone just like that so either he hasn’t gone off me or he only liked me coz he thought he had a chance and now he thinks he hasn’t he’s given up.

I hope it wasn’t the last one coz for some reason I really like him. Why?


For more information on my life, please read my next diary. Thank you. Click… Brrr…

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