At least I know I can say no – 12th May 1998

Tuesday 12th Ralph asked me to go with [snog] him today. It all started at lunch when Emma, Olivia, Hayley, Lena and I were sat on the school field then Ralph, Graham, Freddie and Jade joined us. (Ferny wasn’t in today again. He wasn’t yesterday either.)

We were all lying down along the grass talking about exam results and stuff. (I got 56% in Science. 24/30 in Biology, 7/30 in Chemistry and 21/30 in Physics. Crap I know!) I was at one end of the grass and Ralph was at the other. Then Graham said, “Tess, come over here.” I wouldn’t coz I didn’t trust him so he came over to me instead and whispered “Ralph wants to go with you. Will you?”

I just panicked as usual and said no and made it up that I didn’t really like him and I agreed when everyone asked if I liked Ferny instead. It’s a good thing he wasn’t in school really.

I looked over at Ralph and he was making a daisy chain or summit and looking embarrassed. I felt really snidey again. I bet I hurt his feelings or summit. I didn’t mean to if I did, it’s just all that was embarrassing for me too, especially as I had all my mates there saying, “Just go with him, Tess.”

At least I know I can say no.

On the way back to registration I had Graham questioning me on Ferny and whether I liked him. Then Freddie chipped in and said, “He thinks you’re an ugly cow so you might as well stick with Ralph.” I dunno if Ferny said that or if they were attempting to put me off him but Graham said, “Exactly but you’re not though. Sorry but you’re just not.” He was about to say something about Ralph then Hayley said, “You’d better watch it Graham. You’ll be making Rachael jealous.”

I didn’t see much more of that lot in the afternoon. Probably coz I was trying to avoid them. Oh yeah, they were outside our English room but I was talking to Graham more about Hayley’s sneezes and he was throwing flowers and stuff at me.

I really wasn’t sure if Ralph still liked me this morning. Emma and I were in Mr W’s room about Emma’s work experience self-placement pack and Graham, Freddie and Ralph came in. They did whatever they came in for but stayed and waited by me whilst Emma was sorting herself out.  Freddie was stabbing himself and other people with a drawing pin, Graham was talking to me about the Food Tech exam and Ralph was being unusually quiet. Then when the bell went, Emma and Freddie dropped back and Ralph just ignored me which he doesn’t usually do.

I hardly spoke to Ralph at all today. It’s probably going to be even more awkward for a while now.

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6 thoughts on “At least I know I can say no – 12th May 1998

    • I feel sorry for him too! Poor lad. I liked him, he liked me but snogging a boy seemed utterly terrifying at the time. If I could get hold of a time machine, I’d march across that field and tell my teen self to “just bloody snog the boy and put him out of his misery”!

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  1. Pingback: It was pure torture! – 13th May 1998 | If Destroyed Still True

  2. Pingback: “How come she wouldn’t go with me?”– 15th & 18th May 1998 | If Destroyed Still True

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