I thought people only said that on Eastenders – 29th April 1998

Wednesday 29th The duckling died today. We decided to call it Henri (or Henrietta if a girl). It’s so sad. It happened this morning whilst Mum was showing her class. She said it had been floppy all morning and she said it just stood up, flapped its little wings, shook its tail, stretched its leg out and flopped dead in her hands after that one last burst of energy. [In front of thirty 5 year olds. Awkward.]

She said it sounded content enough just before. She just told the kids it had gone to sleep. We buried it tonight in its pink blanket round the back of the shed and put a shell on the spot. It’s such a shame.

I have caused so much trouble now and I feel really guilty about it all. Right, yesterday in English I was asking Davis if he fancied Emma and stuff and if he’d ask her out. He didn’t really say much but Emma said, “I’m already going out with him.” She was joking but later when I saw Ralph and Ferny walk by I said, “Emma’s going out with Davis. Tell Freddie.” [Silly girl.]

I didn’t expect them to coz I thought they’d realised I was joking but it all got brought up again in the queue for assembly this morning and people were asking about it. Hayley and I were with Ralph and co and she said summit to Freddie along the lines of, “Have you heard about Emma and Davis?” He just looked blank. Ralph was winking at me and stuff saying, “Is it true?” and I said “yeah” just to go along with it all.

I didn’t think they believed me but after assembly, Freddie went up to Emma and said, “We need to talk, it’s important.” I thought people only said that on Eastenders and stuff! Emma seriously thought Freddie was going to dump her and Hayley and I felt responsible coz I’d started it and she’d told Freddie.

So Hayley, Emma and I went down to the tennis courts at break to tell Freddie what had really happened. Hayley told him the truth about English and Emma and I stood with Ralph. He started telling her that if Davis laid one finger on her then they were going to beat him up coz it’s a good excuse for them coz they think he’s a knob.

However much Davis annoys me, I have to say I feel really sorry for him now. They probably wouldn’t do anything coz he’s like twice the size of them all put together but they can be really nasty and immature towards him if they want to be. For example, Graham threw a chair down at Davis in Geography then started questioning him about Emma. When Davis said it was me causing trouble coz I’m a bitch, Graham said, “Tess, he’s calling you a bitch” just to try and get him into trouble with me probably. They, especially Graham, can be really petty like that.

I’m going to have to try and be a bit nicer to Davis now so then maybe he won’t feel quite as bad and I won’t feel quite as snidey.

I went up to the Home Ec. rooms at last break and Ralph was there too. He announced that he was coming to the cinema on Saturday and I said something like, “I’m going to get stuck with you and Ferny then coz Emma and Freddie will go off together.” He said, “Oh, stuck with me, that’s not nice!” Then I said something like, “Well, I’m definitely coming now so I don’t mind really.” I kept saying things like that too. He must really think I fancy him now if he didn’t already.

Emma also told me a couple of things. One was when she said she was listing the people who fancy Ralph and he was silent after my name when he’d gone “yuk” to Sarah and Lucy. The other thing was when she said, “Tess is coming up here at break.” Then when he asked her why, she said, “Why do you think?” He then said, “Well, at least somebody likes me.”

I’m not sure he likes me back though.

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