Friday 17^th I went round to Emma’s again today and I found something out which I’m not very happy about.

BEFORE I GO ON, I’D JUST LIKE TO REMIND MYSELF TO STOP READING THIS OUT NOW IF EMMA IS IN THE ROOM. [We’d occasionally share bits of our diaries with each other, partly to remove the temptation to sneak a peek on the sly.]

It started off when Emma was reading out part of her diary to me. When she began the last entry, she stopped suddenly and said, “I can’t read you that. It’s very, very private and could cause a lot of trouble.” Then she carried on, just reading out the boring bits about Camelot.

Of course, after she said that she really caught my interest and I was mithering her all afternoon. She wouldn’t tell me but kept “accidentally” dropping big hints as if she wanted me to know. She kept going on about how much trouble it would cause if it got out.

When she said it affected me, I had to know. She told me that I would be jealous, Freddie could dump her and she said that if he did then it could affect me more. Well, you can probably imagine how frustrated I was getting and eventually (after quite a bit of persuasive promises of keeping my gob shut and a hint of blackmail involving Davis) she told me.

Evidently, when Freddie phoned my house at the start of the holidays, he told Emma on that phone that Ralph wanted them to split up because Ralph wanted Emma. She said she had to ask him again and basically Ralph fancies Emma.

After that section, she stopped reading and started going on about how it was all in the past [A whole 9 days in the past.] and stuff so I wasn’t to think much of the next part. I could see why when she read on.

Emma had got jealous of me when we went to Camelot because Ralph and I were sitting together on all the rides. This is because (in her words) “for one day and one day only” (yeah, right!) she’d started to fancy Ralph again as well as Freddie. But then she made a decision between the 2 of them the day after. She wrote that she was committed to Freddie and that she’d gone off Ralph again. Hmmm, you don’t just go off somebody that quickly.

At first I started to wish she hadn’t told me but now I think I’m glad she did, although I’m still not at all pleased about it. In fact, I’m really annoyed. She should’ve told me straight away what Freddie said on the phone. Instead, she started saying about how she and Freddie reckoned Ralph fancied me and she knows I liked him and she really got my hopes up when she knew perfectly well he didn’t like me. I really started believing that too.

Oh God, I kept going on about how nice he was being to me at Camelot and stuff. He didn’t fancy me at all. I bet he was just doing it to either make Emma jealous or to take his mind off her. I’ve totally humiliated myself now thinking that it really was possible he fancied me. She and Freddie didn’t exactly stop me from thinking things like that either. If anything, they encouraged me.

No wonder Freddie was so desperate to try and set me up with Ralph. It’s because now he sees Ralph as a possible threat to him and Emma. Forget bleeding Davis, it’s Ralph that’s the problem!

That is all so unfair. I used to like Charlie Wilson a bit ages ago [Despite strenuous denial.] and Emma got him. I thought Jake Taylor was alright in Austria. Emma got him. I used to fancy Freddie a lot a while ago and Emma got him. Now, the only lad I thought I had a chance with is – sorry – WAS Ralph and Emma could have him if she wasn’t going out with Freddie. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if she still had a fling with Ralph knowing her slapperish track record. Sod poor Freddie!

I’m really depressed and upset about that. I thought I was going to cry before but I managed not to!

I think I’m going to phone Thornley now to see if I can get any more out of her. [Ooh I was pissed off. Emma was getting referred to by surname only.] I’ll report back later if I do.

Bye for now!

I’m back and I did phone her. I think I’ve forgiven Thornley but I still don’t think she should have allowed me and encouraged me to think Ralph fancied me. I’m going to be a bit suspicious now if Ralph decides to be nice to me, although Emma did bring up the point that Ralph was still being nice to me when she wasn’t there.

Actually, Ralph fancying Emma would explain a few things. For instance, when I was on the phone to Freddie the same day he told Emma about Ralph, he was saying I should go out with Ferny, not Ralph, but he did change that round again. Also, it would explain why Ralph finds Emma and Freddie snogging so disgusting. I mean, everyone does, but he’s always the one to tell them to make them stop.

Emma also brought up the fact that it might just have been Freddie’s opinion. He may have jumped to the wrong conclusions if Ralph was moaning about Emma and Freddie or something.

Oh well, there’s not much I can do about it now I suppose. I’ll just wait and see what happens when we go back to school.

Urgh! That’s another thing, only 2 more days to go.